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| i feel like i'm going crazy, almost in an obsessive kind of way  . i can't stop thinking and talking about the same things over and over.
it's weird because something so scary and dangerous and risky is at the same time so attractive and appealing to me. all i can hope though is that i'm not being drawn only by its superficial rewards. i want to use the opportunity and take it for all of its deeper aspects: to grow and learn, to gain responsibility.
i have time but i think i've already made up my mind. i think i'm just making a bigger deal out of it than it really is. things will be fine, and i think that i'll be assured of that this time of next year.
on another note:
can't stop thinking about christmas presents! and
mae - just let go
chris brown - with you
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it is our choices that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.
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| it's been 1 year (+ 2 days) since my last post. crazy.
some things seem absolutely and completely different from then (both good and bad.) for example, i talked about work and my inability to attract work. yet now, i'm much more comfortable in my workplace environment, and feel that i'm fitting in and valued for what i have to offer but then for the bad.. i would be so excited about such small things or events. like oktoberfest. and even though i didn't go last year, when my coworkers bring it up this year i'm more like.. "eh." i feel like i'm losing enthusiasm for the smaller things...or maybe they're just being lost in the overall grind.
then some things just feel exactly the same. like a constant feeling of drifting away and getting lost into the working world, a place that's more serious, strict, full of responsibilities. i think part of living so close to college-location, is that for a while, all the things u do, places u eat, are all just like they were then. it makes as a good way to transitions, but at the same time if i was just yanked out and thrown into a new environment (even in sf) i think that i would have experienced a lot more growth/change.
but all these things are going around in the background. at the front of it, i'm happy. things have been going well recently. i feel like i've tried a lot of new things recently and that there are still a great many things i want to try. and i just need to relax, instead of letting really random crap get to me.
i had a little crisis with my coworkers the other day (where none of us knew what we were going to do in the future) and while it may be a crazy adventure filled with ups and downs for the next few years, i'm becoming less nervous and more open about it. i guess we'll see what happens :)
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| the weekend is near!
i am so glad because this week has been pretty boring in terms of work.. I wish i just had one project to work on and spend most of my time on. Instead i had like nothing to do, then 3 projects to work on in 2 hours, and then nothing, etc. Everyone said enjoy this time of the year though because once Thanksgiving and year-end roll around I'll probably have to start doing weekends (assuming if any of the seniors will even staff me though i feel like they don't even like me or something now)
oktoberfest on sunday in sf! beer and bratwurst! woohoo!
friday and saturday?...i dunno.
i'm annoyed. i got to the final confirmation page of woot (after putting in my credit card, address, etc) and then timed out when ordering the 3x bag of crap.. i thought for sure i had it this time. hopefully my order still went through. :)
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| This weekend is going to be taight!
thursday: sushi house with mina! mMmmmm, sake-bombing, more drinking, taikoooo and skittle-vodka infusion! lol we = nerds, but at least we're nerdy alcoholics!
friday: Dine out at Frisson?, clubbing/SF (rouge)
saturday: recoverrr and then clubbing (ana mandara)
sunday: saigon for lunch and 18 holes @ coyote creek and bringing up some more home food
mom's email was like..thinking about making a pot roast but can't finish that much..can you bring some back to berkeley? UHHH DUHHHHH yum.
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